Tubular Update One

thanks for joining us folks. 

Can you believe its been a month since the "raffle" started on the Tubular Delineators near the Newport News Wal-Mart !

Some of them are damaged, but none are fallen yet. Methinks they've installed some quality plastic tubes there. Who would have accused VDOT of doing a good job?

To be clear on the "rules" of this little sweepstakes: to win, one or more posts must be wrenched out of their little holes. It doesnt have to be completely uprooted, but it does have to be crushed or torn in such a way that it lays down, leans over more than a 50° angle, but completely uprooted is a definite plus.

If you personally drive over the tubes, or have them driven over, Yes, that's an allowable method for you to win the bet. But is my measly prize worth all the body repair time or possible legal hassles? I think not.

Stay tuned, and be on the lookout for Tubular Delineators.

Tubular Delineators

Did you know that the white plastic lane dividers are officially called Tubular Delineators ?

That's their Official Nomenclature in the

Huge Catalog of Government Particulars.

Anyways, they've recently finished installing the new ones at the interchange at Interstate 64, the Jefferson Ave. off ramp.  These delineators are pristine, shiny, reflective, and give the roadway a professional and safe appearance. These traffic control devices are sure to please, combining durability with high-visibility. Using the highest quality material, these products are designed to withstand repeated high-speed impact with moving vehicles. When looking for barriers to regulate your traffic, look no further than Tubular Delineators.

Now there's only a few  things to do at this particular intersection: go live in Kiln Creek, go Work at Ferguson, have a scone at Panera, Leave from the Airport, or go Shop at Wal-Mart. 

Oh my gosh do the people go shop at Walmart like mad.  Soldiers, Rednecks and Sailors will leave the Interstate where they were doing 70mph to  zoom across 3 lanes of oncoming traffic  that is going 45 mph to get a new pair of chinese flip-flops and and a mark-down "Party of Five" DVD at the Wal-Marts. That's why the city has the strict lane control. They want the (theoretically) merging drivers to yield and  go to the next light, and enter Wal-Mart's lot in a calm and rational manner, via the second entrance. That way persons already on Jefferson can safely and calmly use the first entrance.

This is the theory I've laid out for you, and its backed up with careful reports and pamphlets from the NN Civil Engineers. BUT The harsh reality is that some chain-smoking nimrod talking on their cell-phone while their brats play "punch buggy" in the back seat is going to swerve wide and leave a Subaru shaped impact on half a dozen of these clean white posts, some of which will give up the ghost, no doubt to be flung into the mulch around the median's little mulberry trees.

You know it's gonna be true; the only question is when? That's where you come in. We're going to bet on it. I've set an arbitrary date of about a year from now as the cut-off. April 1st, 2010, that's the number.  What I want is everbody to leave their name and date of bet in the comments (either here on on my facebook page)  So your entry should look like "Vicki Davis, Sept. 1st". This let's me know who you are and when you think is the closest date (without going over)  to The Big Wipe-Out.

If two people pick the same correct date, then the tie breaker will be the earlier time mark of their comment. 2 other things to note:

A) If it's a tragedy, and people are killed or paralyzed in a pile-up that wipes out the cones, then that's Not Funny Anymore, and I'll donate any prize money to some appropriate charity in their names.

B) If we get to next April and all the pretty markers are still standing, I'll have a party for everyone.

Other rules. You ought to live on or near the Virginia Peninsula. You have to be someone I know.

Yes there will be a physical prize of some value. Only one bet per person. Yes you can have more than one bet per family, but each person has to be someone I know. 

 No I don't know what the prize is yet. but it will be worth the 5 minutes it takes you to read this, leave a comment, and place your bet. The prize may very well be a Wal-Mart gift card.